Writing Your First Blog Post: The Struggle Is Real

Seriously. I never got the memo! How do you write one of these? Well… okay. How hard can it be, right? Let’s see. It should start with something like this…

 “Hello and Welcome!”

Voice #1: Oh come on, that opener is so boring. This isn’t an Apple event.

Ok, then. How about…

 “Greetings to one and all!”

Voice #2: This isn’t Comic-Con either.

God! This is exactly why I don’t need voices inside my head. There should be just one person, one mind behind the blog. Too many cooks spoil the brothel, or whatever.

Voice #1: This is precisely why you NEED more cooks, so that one can correct the other’s recipe and say, “It isn’t ‘brothel’, smartass, it’s ‘broth’, as in soup.”

Oh. Right. I knew that.

Voice #1: *snorts* Sure you did.

Voice #2: Umm, guys, losing focus here. The first post is crucial; it’s where the blogger must introduce himself/herself and the blog.

Yeah. I need to explain things. People will probably question where they’ve landed up. This place–

Voice #2: Is the dopest place on the planet! Short stories galore!

Voice #1: Both of you need to calm the hell down. Look at you guys. Sitting in the dull glow of a computer screen, debating content ideas, and getting wide-eyed and giddy over every new plan you hatch. It’s embarrassing.

Shut up. It’s a new year, a new start. Who wouldn’t be giddy? And that’s enough now. Shoo. Go away. I think I can handle things from here. I need to explain how ultimately, after eons of brainstorming – and stupid amounts of giddiness – I have settled on this: every week will bring something new, something fresh. Moreover, it’ll bring someone different. A new storyteller to catapult us into a tale of their own. You never know who they’re going to be or what they will have to say. But with a new voice every week–and I have no shortage of those, apparently–I hope there’ll be something for everybody.

Voice #1: You mean humour, mystery, drama, romance… there’s no telling what the story will be about?

There’s no telling. I might even throw in a few rambling posts when I feel like airing out my thoughts.

Voice #2: And don’t forget to mention that you really want readers to–

Yes yes, I know. I really want them to sound off in the comments (whether its critique or what have you), get in touch via the contact tab (whether for feedback or story requests) and generally just enjoy this humble little corner of the blogosphere.

Voice #1: *giggles* That’s a funny word – blogosphere.

Jeez, grow up. Anyways. Moving on: I should probably paint a colourful picture, too. You know, how readers should light up that fireplace, curl up on that couch, wrap their fingers around that delicious cup of coffee, and get ready to dope up on their weekly fiction fix, courtesy of their friendly neighbourhood dealer.

Voice #1: *oohs* Yeah. Definitely put that in the post. That’s sounds so cool.

Thanks. I came up with it myself, you know.

Voice #2: And then you should close with something like…

 “Happy Reading!”

Voice #1:  No wait, isn’t that very clichéd?

Hmm.

*everyone nod in agreement*

Hey, guys, I don’t think there’s anything to be done after all. The first post has just written itself. Look at this! It’s incredible.

Voice #1: Wow! You’re right!

Voice #2: *enter curse word here* Holy mother of convenience! See, having voices in your head can be a good thing after all.

Thanks so much, you guys. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you. Well, I guess this is where I should wrap it up. Let’s kick off this blog!

This is me, signing out.

– Amaan Khan.

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224 thoughts on “Writing Your First Blog Post: The Struggle Is Real

  1. I lost it at “brothel” haha oh the voices in one’s mind can be something; they steer you in the right direction, reprimand you and sometimes humour you. I look forward to reading the rest of your blog!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I can relate… with the voices; I mean you. 😄 Finding a balance with THE right blogs can some times be a STRUGGLE. Knowing how to get your message to resonate with others, that IS not easy; continue to keep it REAL my brother. 🤛🏽

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Dear friend. As for blogging I have no idea what I’m doing, but I’ve managed to create enough material to do something with if I ever figure it out. My advance? Save everything you do and keep on doing it. All the books I’ve read on the subject are outdated already, all overnight success stories are over and done, are fame has flamed out. Now these guys spend time selling what they have done in the past to try an make a buck on stuff that nobody cares about anymore. What does it all mean? Damned if I know. I do know I’m having a grand ole time blogging my writings. So there. Keep up the good work.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You should be encouraged by such a response for your first post! Myself and some friends worked on a site, The Muck of the Morning, where a friend satirically wrote about this very thing…. https://themuckofthemorning.wordpress.com/2016/07/21/unnatural-blog-posts-an-awkward-introduction-to-the-writers-life-j-k/
    A total joke with a seed of truth. Yet simply starting apparently is supposed to be a bigger deal than we usually make of it. What’s your goal? What does writing do for you?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey thank you so much! 🙏 Well, writing is everything. It is everything, and does everything for me. That’s the only way I can put it. ❤❤🙌🙌 And I don’t really have a goal, maybe except apart from writing and hopefully having atleast one person enjoy what I create. As long as I’ve made someone out there feel the slightest hint of any emotion (good or bad) then I guess I’ve done my job. 🙏🙏

      Like

  5. Voice # 3..
    Heyyy Amaaaannn!!! It’s me… voice #3, disembodied and left floating round the broad catalpa tree. Took me forever to find ya! (Don’t be scared, I’m actually not crazy most of the time). Thanks for visiting my site, and thanks fer the sweet little like, so nice to get one of those from a non-bot not selling sumpin. Cheers! 🙋🏻

    Liked by 1 person

  6. this is too good. iv only read half of it so far but had to write a comment before i finish of the rest. oh…yeah thanks for stopping by and like my post. 🙂 im not much of a writer, i guess i just like to type it as i say it..(if you know what i mean?) anyway look forward to reading more of your stuff.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Starting can be tough. When I first started blogging I began each post with “Hello, my name is Zoe and…” the I would write what I was thinking and when I was done would go back and delete ‘Hello, my name is Zoe and’ before publishing. Weird tip but it always got me started on the right tone and helped overcome any writers block.

    Zoe

    Liked by 2 people

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