The world is a loveless place.
We have been asking for anything people can spare. Food, water, loose change. A prayer, even. Anything. We’ll take anything, I kept saying. I think I have said it more than a thousand times in the past week, and all that anyone ever did was lift their nose and pick their way around us. I can’t imagine keeping this up any longer, because with every attempt my stomach plummets into a deeper and deeper abyss. I know I shouldn’t give up. My little sister depends on me. So long as I survive, she survives. But we are both reduced to sticks. What is frightening me even more is that I haven’t heard her complain even once. She is only six, but I suppose she has always been stronger than me. People like us cannot last long in this selfish world, but I could never accept it. I do now.
I accept it, and give up.
We scrape every atom of energy left in our hollow muscles and crawl back to our little spot at the corner of the pavement. I sit down and give my lap to my sister and tell her to rest. We can only wait out the end now, maybe go peacefully in our sleep. She always likes it when I skim her hair, but I cannot find the strength to even do something that simple. I cannot even lift my hand. But because she is so weak, she drifts off before I can move to make an effort. For the past few nights the beast living in my stomach would keep me up, clamouring to be fed, but I cannot even feel the hunger anymore. I cannot feel anything. That makes it easier to forget, and I try to slip away too.
Then, it happens.
Just as my eyelids are about to give way, perhaps for good, I hear the sound of footsteps. I jerk awake to see that near my feet a plastic bag has arrived out of thin air. I think there are shadows walking away from us, but it is too dark and my eyes are so dry I cannot be sure of anything. But the bag is here. I know that much. I am sure of that much.
I wake my sister up, whose eyes go wide, shocked by this strange, last-moment answer to our prayers. We don’t say anything to each other, nor waste a second. With all the desperation of a hundred starved lions, we pounce onto our prey.
The bag is ripped to shreds. And inside: leftovers; bread, rice and something like soup.
I split everything into two halves, give my sister her share. Then, there is no time to think. Only do. There is no taste to what we are eating, and even if there is our taste-buds have long forgotten what they are supposed to do. But none of that matters. We are not eating flavourless food. We are eating exquisite delicacies, every imaginable sensation bursting in our mouths. We are gorging on the food of the Gods and Kings, brought down from the heavens. Tonight, we are feasting on a miracle.
In less than a minute I wolf down my meal. But my stomach is still rumbling, the sleeping beast awoken from its slumber. It begs and cries once I swallow for the last time, feeling deceived, thinking it was going to get more than what I had to give. My sister, on the other hand, has hardly eaten. She tells me she is too tired and wants to rest and have the rest of her meal later. She places her head on my lap and I find happiness in the fact that I can now skim her hair for her like I always do, till she closes her eyes.
But the thing is, I don’t think I can sleep now. My stomach won’t let me. It has gotten a taste and it wants more. It starts demanding, commanding, forcing me to eat. But eat what?
It suddenly occurs to me, and I am disgusted with myself. How could that even cross my mind? I see it there, my sister’s share, waiting to be eaten. But I could not do that to her. I cannot. I have had what was mine. I cannot be greedy. This is her food. She will be miserable when she wakes up to find it gone. I love her too deeply to betray her like this. She needs every grain she can get. I don’t. She needs to get strong again.
But, I think, she has always been stronger than me.
The beast inside me roars, screams and hisses and snaps, claws at me from the inside. I want to cry out loud. I feel I need to tear out my own hair to make it stop, just to feel something other than this all-consuming hunger. I have to do something about it, and right now there is only one thing I can do about it. Just one thing. But I am not that kind of person.
Except that I am.
With a black heart, I give in. The beast wins, and my sister’s share becomes mine.
The next morning, when she wakes up, I say I had safely kept her share aside, but someone must have stolen it while we were asleep. My sister’s tears starts to pour like rain, and it surprises me that a stone-cold heart can still feel something, that I am still able to drown under tidal waves of guilt. She doesn’t deserve a sister like me.
I try to get her to blame me, to hate me, because that is what I deserve. I insist that I was careless; it is my fault her food was stolen. But, between sobs, she tries telling me something instead: she is not sad because her food is gone. She was worried about me. She is only crying because someone else is eating what she wanted me to have.
And now, I don’t deserve her.
———-
© Amaan Khan, January 25, 2018.
Really good. Didn’t expect that at the end.
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Oh thank you so much!!! 😁😁🙏🙏
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Wow… You got me at the end though. Brilliant work 👌
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Thank you very much! I’m glad you enjoyed it! 🙌🙌🙏🙏😁😁
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I pray you infuse some of your writing into me…lol
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Haha oh that’s high praise! Thank you. And I’m definitely sending positive thoughts your way!! 🙏🙏❤❤☺
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Woho!! Omg omg omg! The end, never ever expected. Perfect portrayal of a sister-sister intricately spun relationship. And how the love which blooms in the Garden of hardship is such invincible, so pure.
The cramps these little girls endure due to malnutrition and how still they “share” everything (food, sleep, lap, space and life) …Ohmg…love is winsome! What a piece! Amaan, go conquer the WWOORRLLLDDD!
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Jeez wow! I love this response! Thank you so so very very much! You’re awesome! Seriously! Thank you! 🙏🙏🙏🙏❤❤❤❤🙌🙌🙌🙌☺☺☺☺
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I realised, the elder one was gaping at the sight of the plastic bag JUST AS a mother gapes in astonishment and joy over her new born, after tolerating 9 months of pain.
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Nice analogy! I didn’t think of it myself actually! Good one! ✌✌👌
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I can write an entire thesis on this gripping story of yours! PhD will be awarded by you 😂😂
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Haha now that’s way too much. I’m not that good a writer. That’s so kind. 😅😅😅
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Wonderfully written 🙂
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Thank you very much!! 😄😄🙌🙌❤😁
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Can any of us be sure that we wouldn’t do that? The self-preservation instinct can be so strong and cruel. Very good story. Thank you. 🙂
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No, thank you!! 😁🙌❤👌
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Oh oh, loved this!! Beautiful, excellent piece 😊
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Thank you so much!! 🙌🙌😁
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You wrote an amazing story. You took me to the streets with the sisters, their desperation, the beast inside that begged to be satisfied. I cried for the little girls’ situation. For the older girls dilemma. For the younger girls spirit of graciousness and self-sacrifice. Having lived and worked in India for a number of years, I could picture the streets as the story unfolded. You are a wonderful storyteller and writer! I look forward to following your blog and reading more of your posts.
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I am stunned and humbled and speechless. I never know how to thank someone who has such kind words to say. Thank you feels so inadequate! Still, THANK YOU SO MUCH! 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
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The words are true! You’re welcome. =)
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Oh thank you!!! ❤❤❤❤❤🙌🙌🙌🙌
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Wow!
This is so well written and the ending is definetly something a sister or a mother would do. I love it. 😀
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Thank you! I’m glad you liked it! ✌👌🙌❤😁
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Amazing piece, it was moving, thoughtful and enthralling.
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Thank you for reading! I appreciate it so much! 🙌🙌🙌
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That’s a beautiful story.
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Thank you very much! 🙏🙏🙏
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You’re welcome 😊
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🙏🙏🙏✌🙌
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That was fabulous. You have a real gift for getting a reader inside a character very quickly and making us feel what that character is feeling, uncomfortable though it might be. I really felt the love, conflict and guilt. Bravo.
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I cannot believe my eyes. I’m so glad you were able to delve into the story and live as the narrator. That was the mission all along. Thank you so very much! You’re too kind. 🙌🙏❤👌
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Ah bless you. Keep writing
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Bless you too. 🙌 And yes, I will indeed ❤❤
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Extraordinary write up!😍😍
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Thank YOU!! 😅😁🙏🙏
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You brought a tear to my eye, this morning. Not sure if I should thank you or not…
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Haha I’m conflicted too: whether I’m happy I could make you feel something, or sad that I caused you tears. But thank you for reading!! Means a lot! ❤🙏🙌
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Powerful story of love. Told with great voice. Well done.
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I am so glad you enjoyed it! Really Thank you very much 🙏🙏🙏🙏
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🙏
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Cracking stories!
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Thanks so much! 🙏✌🙌
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Powerful words, beautifully written. The world hungers for such wisdom.
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Awww that’s really generous of you! Thank you very much. Thank you! ❤❤❤🙏🙏
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Wow made my day… an excellent piece. Im left with suspense wondering what you did…
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Oh my goodness really. Wow, thank you! I’m happy I could be of service! 🙏🙏✌✌🙌🙌
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A fabulous piece! I have to come back and read more!
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Oh thank you! yes I would love for you to!! 🙏🙏❤❤🙌🙌
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I will be back. Your writing is fabulous, I mean it. Enjoy your weekend.
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Aw thank you very much! And right back at you! 🙏🙏❤❤
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Nice work! Excellent finish! Keep going!
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amazing!
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Thank youuuu!!! 🙌🙌
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it kept me engaged till the end.
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That feels so good to hear. Thank you thank you! 🙏❤🙌✌
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True love! The Struggles within a heart and mind can be very Real. But that will never matter; when the love for someone else, becomes your greatest joy! #Blessings
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It takes courage to write something so real and as beautiful!!😊
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Oh my goodness. 😆Thank you very much. Really appreciate it! 🙏🙏🙌
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This just blew my mind. ❤️
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Thank you!!! 🙏🙏🙏
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Wow that was so heartbreaking. Your writing style is beautiful.
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Thank you so much! 🙏🙏🙏
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This is so, so good! So realistic and relevant and deeply felt. It’s amazing to find such content on here, or anywhere. 😀
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Thank you so so much! I really appreciate it! 🙌🙏🙌🙏🙌
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Powerful and evocative! Thanks for sharing that with the world.
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And thank you!! 🙏❤🙏❤
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Wonderful piece of writing Amaan. Great work.
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Hey thank you very much! Appreciate it! ✌✌🙌🙏
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Thanks for dropping by 😄 and for sharing this story!
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And thank you!!!
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This is a well written and powerful piece. Short but sweet and packing a punch. Well done!
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Thank you so very much! I really appreciate it! 😁🙏❤
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🙂 Keep up the good work.
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Thank you! I sure will! 😊🙏✌
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Beautifully written.
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Thank you so much! 🙌🙌❤❤
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Reblogging this to my sister site, Success Inspirers World
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Thank you so much!!! 🙏🙏❤❤
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i just shared this on facebook. your ability to simultaneously capture the horror of starvation and the selflessness of love in one piece is truly amazing. i’m so glad i found this piece.
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Oh my goodness thank you much! I really appreciate it!! 🙌🙌🙏✌❤❤
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you’re very welcome–always a pleasure to promote excellent writing 🙂
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🙌🙌❤❤🙏🙏
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This brought tears to my eyes and the end was even more humane showing the ray of hope she thought she had lost. You’ve woven this story so well Amaan and it appeals our humanity to share what we take for granted with those who don’t have it. Thanks for sharing your gifts with us, Amaan. Have a great day!
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I am so glad you enjoyed it. Thank you so very much! And ditto!! ❤✌❤✌
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🙂 🙂 ❤
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🙌🙌
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This was a terrific read, a line I am not the first to drop. I’ve always struggled with endings, so I really appreciated how yours fit so snugly with the rest of the story.
I cannot wait to see what else you throw together. I look forward to reading your next post.
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Hey thank you so very much!!! That’s amazing!! 🙏🙏🙏
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This is amazing! I hope to someday write like you 😊
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Oh thank you! That’s too kind! 🙏🙏❤❤
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Mind blown! Love the twist at the end.
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Thank you!!! 🙏🙏🙏🙌✌
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What a great inner dialogue of a struggle between our most basic needs and unconditional love! Peace.
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Thank you so much! 🙏🙏🙏
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This is so powerful! Well done!
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Thank you so very much!! 🙌🙌🙌
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Tonight, we are feasting on a miracle.
I just feasted on one – awesome man! Wow! You understand human emotions quite well! Hats-off.
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Hey wow thank you so much for those kind words really appreciate it!! 🙏🙏🙌🙌
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Welcome! 😊
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✌🙌🙏
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Beautifully written, your characters really are alive!
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Oh goodness tthank you so much!! 🙏🙌❤
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Beautiful story. You are great narrator. Keep writing
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Oh wow thank you very much! I will 🙏❤🙏❤
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The ending was so beautiful
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Thank you!! I’m happy you enjoyed it! 😀❤👌
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Reblogged this on What heart says… and commented:
Wow!!!
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Oh thank you so much for the reblog!! 🙌🙏❤
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You deserve it 🙂
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🙏🙏🙏🙏🙈
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Such a sweet piece on a sad reality of life. Great writing. I must say bravo!
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You’re too kind! Thank you so so much! 🙏🙏🙏🙏
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Your words are sweet.
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🙏❤🙌🙈
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I saw the picture of the two girls and just had to read it — Incredible!!!!
And then some more! You are such a fabulous writer.
I can feel the tears and hunger of the little girls and what an amazing ending. Bravo! Keep writing and sharing! My prayers for your every success – in bringing light and insight – with your wondrous words. Thank you! 🙂
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Hey there! I am beyond happy, so glad you love the story. So glad it could move you in that way. Thank you for reading and liking and commenting! Truly! I really appreciate it! 🙌🙌🙏🙏❤❤
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