Hey, everyone! I’m back!

What have we got this week? It’s another This or That tag! Part 2 of 3!

Now, I know what you guys are thinking: Oh my God, Amaan! This is such a dream come true! Tell us more! We can’t get enough of you!

And to that I say: Aww. Stop it you guys. You’re making me blush.

Is my joke game strong again? I can’t tell. Let me know in the comments below.

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Q1. Be sexist or racist?

A: Wow. Okay. We’re starting it off with a serious one. All right. Not exactly what I had in mind. But, here we go: I’d rather be sexist. Before all the non-men light their torches and gather their pitchforks, let me expand by saying this: I would be a sexist who is against all genders, male female transgender etc. I would be the ultimate sexist, so sexist that I would refuse to recognize all genders except one. And that gender is a new gender called “Amaan”. (Supreme Court recognition pending.)

Q2. Attend Hogwarts or Xavier’s School?

A: I would choose Hogwarts. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a mega huge X-Men fan. Wolverine. Jean. Storm. Amazing, all of them. It’s some of the best Marvel has to offer. But…. Harry Potter is Harry Potter. If I attended Xavier’s School, I’d be a mutant with a single super-power, but if I was a wizard, I’d have a wand with unlimited powers. See what I mean?

Q3. Be a cyborg or completely human?

A: Since I’m always living life with one foot in reality and another in fantasy, the answer to this shouldn’t be hard to guess. (Also, cyborg with super-human capabilities? Like, no-brainer!)

Q4. Play ten instruments beautifully or speak ten languages fluently?

A: Since I am already ahead in the language game (English, Hindi, Gujarati, Arabic, Urdu, French) I’d like to learn four additional languages. Isn’t that the easy answer? For instruments, I’d have to start from scratch, so this option is not a good idea, I think.

Q5. Be an ugly genius or a hot moron?

A: Can’t I be a hot genius? No? Okay, fine. I guess… I’ll pick… ugly genius. Who cares how you look? If you’re smart enough you can make yourself a millionaire and make all the hot morons work for you. Nice, right? *evil laughter*

Q6. Be chased by 10,000 scorpions or 10 lions?

A: It’ll be easy to outrun 10,000 scorpions. With 10 lions, I’ve got no chance of survival.

Q7. Be financially bankrupt or morally bankrupt?

A: I’d rather be the former. Imagine being morally bankrupt. That’s the KKK. Or Hitler. Or Trump. Yikes. No thanks.

Q8. Be idealistic or realistic?

A: I am already as realistic as they come. Being idealistic can be fun and exciting some of the time, but ultimately it doesn’t help anyone. I suppose a healthy balance of both would be good.

Q9. Be in a gunfight or knife fight?

A: First of all, let me say I’m a pacifist. Second of all, let me say gunfight. Call me a coward if you want, but knife fights are more physical and up-close and personal. Too close for comfort. Not my scene.

Q10. Be stuck in an elevator with Kim Kardashian or Malala Yousafzai?

A: Malala, please. At least then I would be having a conversation, with a person.

Q11. Be painfully aware or blissfully ignorant?

A: Painfully aware. Always. Living in ignorance, however blissful that may be, is not living at all.

Q12. Be lucky or talented?

A: I think both of these are somewhat the same. Either can get you far in life, either can let you down at any time. Still, I would choose talent. That makes you special, in your own way. Many people have luck, but it isn’t something specifically unique about them.

Q13. Be quantitatively or qualitatively inclined?

A: Quality over quantity, that’s my motto.

Q14. Be respected or be feared?

A: Basically be like Obama or be like Osama. Do you even have to ask?

Q15. Be stuck at age 18 or age 50?

A: Let’s be 18 forever with no responsibilities and nothing expected from us or struggles to cry over and with every serious matter taken care of by older people.

Q16. Be ugly and live forever, or be attractive and die young at 40?

A: You don’t want to live forever. Trust me, you just don’t. Just be sexy and die young at 40. That will be a happier and more fulfilling life. You’ll be thanking me later.

Q17. Be sticky or itchy for the rest of your life?

A: Ok seriously, who’s coming up with these questions? For real? I’d rather be itchy, coz if I’m sticky I wouldn’t be able to touch another person my whole life, and what kinda life is that?

Q18. Be yourself with nobody liking you, or not be yourself and every loves you?

A: Authenticity is the key. Be yourself, and so what if no one likes you? The only person’s approval/opinion that matters is yours. No one else should get to dictate how you live your life.

Q19. Be depressed or infertile?

A: These questions are getting out of hand. I just… I just don’t know what to say. I don’t want to be depressed. I’d rather be infertile. I mean, for all I know, I could be. Nobody goes and get tests done for this kind of stuff without reason, so I wouldn’t know.

Q20. Be a communist or facist?

A: When life presents you with two bad choices and you must choose, you choose the lesser of two evils. So communist it is.

Q21. Defend a guilty person or prosecute an innocent person?

A: Hell yes. Now this is what I’m talking about. These are the kinds of questions that go to the heart of the matter. Really makes us questions ourselves, our morality, integrity, maturity. And my answer is: I would defend the guilty. See, the question doesn’t state that either person will actually end up getting convicted or acquitted, so based on that, why would I risk prosecuting an innocent person who has done absolutely nothing wrong? I’d much rather defend the guilty with a 50% chance of conviction.

Q22. Dinner date or movie date?

A: Dinner date. That way we can eat, chat, exchange stories, get to know one another. All you do in a movie is face away and ignore each other for two hours (assuming no hanky-panky is involved. *wink wink*)

Q23. Forgiveness or vengeance?

A: Not to be all evasive and stuff, but this depends on the circumstances, the gravity of the wrongdoing, etc etc. Half of the time forgiveness is the right way to go, but the other half, nothing satisfies as much as sweet revenge does. As long as the vengeance makes sense, is justified, and totally proportional to the original crime, that’s the way to go. Besides, holding a grudge isn’t healthy for you.

Q24. Have a life coach or see a therapist?

A: Having a life coach would be a very one-sided deal. All their job is, is to constantly push you and encourage you without stopping and really taking you into account, personally. Therapists, on the other hand, will actually listen to you, take your input, accommodate your side of things, adjust their therapy to improve your life at your own pace and comfort. The give-and-take ratio would be more balanced. This would be like a symbiotic relationship, so it’s the more preferable one. Correct me if I’m wrong.

Q25. Feel overwhelming emotions or nothing at all?

A: I have both these types of people in my life: people who feel too much all the time, and people who never get affected by anything at all. I have no clue which I’d want. They both seem dangerous as well as not-so-dangerous. On balance, maybe apathy isn’t so desirable. I’d rather feel something, or a lot of something, instead of being a robot who has no emotions whatsoever.

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And that’s the end of Part 2! I hope it was everything you thought it would be. Part 3 will be coming your way soon. Keep a look-out.

Thanks for coming back week after week. Blogging is starting to grow on me, so I want to say thank you for letting me do it and letting me know that I’m doing something right. It’s a huge reason I keep coming back and doing more and more for you. I hope you’re having as much fun as I am.

I hope you’ve had a great week so far, and I hope you have an even greater week ahead! Lots of love and luck!

This is me, signing out!

© Amaan Khan, May 17, 2018.

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